


Filling the Cracks

by runningincircles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angst, Dean Needs A Hug, Gabe's trying to be nice, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-03
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-01-11 02:11:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1167389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningincircles/pseuds/runningincircles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He sat himself in his motel room on the bed and shut the curtains, his hand tightly in a fist and a bottle of sleeping pills which he had needed every night in the other. The substance that had stopped him from tossing and turning at night would now stop him forever. He prayed to Cas one last time. <br/>Waited.<br/>Nothing.<br/>And with that, the pills in his hand were replaced with an empty bottle. Before long, he was out."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He finally did it. It got too much for him, and he did it. Sam had given up, Cas had disappeared, and Dean was left all alone. He thought he was used to it but something snapped. The alcohol wasn't enough, he tried to drink away his sorrows every night but it just meant he felt even worse the next day.   
A couple of months passed before Dean finally decided to give in. He sat himself in his motel room on the bed and shut the curtains, his hand tightly in a fist and a bottle of sleeping pills which he had needed every night in the other. The substance that had stopped him from tossing and turning at night would now stop him forever. He prayed to Cas one last time.   
Waited.  
Nothing.  
And with that, the pills in his hand were replaced with an empty bottle. Before long, he was out.  
\------------------  
Bright light consumed him and a feeling of serenity was all he knew as Dean's eyes slowly reopened. "Is this Heaven?", Dean thought to himself as he groaned internally, "Well it's a pretty crap paradise". Then a sharp pain shot into him. Not Heaven. A quiet beeping slowly grew in amplitude and the white light gradually came into shape, he was in a hospital room. He tried to lift himself but the pain shot through him again, faster and sharper than before so, he collapsed back onto the bed in resign.  
"Try to relax, you'll only hurt yourself", a familiar voice gently cooed from the side of the bed.  
Dean jumped slightly in surprise before swallowing it down, "Cas?", he whispered roughly, barely audibly.  
The voice chuckled slightly, "Not even close".  
Dean's head slowly rolled to the blurry figure to his left and squinted in confusion.  
"Don't you remember me?... Oh, wait!", the voice chuckled again before Dean felt a hand on his head and his vision focused. With that, his eyes shot open wide.  
"Gabriel?...", Dean asked in surprise, "But... But I thought you were dead...".  
The angel rolled his eyes, "You're the last person I'd expect to be shocked at someone coming back from the dead, pretty rich", he said as he smiled warmly, "and anyway, I thought you were dead too for a while, evidently not", he continued as he reached a hand out to stroke Dean's forehead.  
The hunter's eyebrows lowered as he moved away from the touch slowly, "Why are you here?... What do you want?".  
Gabriel tilted his head and frowned slightly, "What? I'm not allowed to check on you?".  
"Not unless you want something from me...".  
"Well, I don't", he sighed out, "I just thought you could use someone being here when you woke up".  
Dean was too tired and too resigned to question the archangel so simply looked to the ceiling. "Why am I alive?".  
"Someone found you and called an ambulance, they were only just able to save you".  
Dean let out an annoyed grumble as he shut his eyes and frowned, "They should have left me to die", he whispered, causing Gabriel to scowl, then sigh and stroke Dean's arm gently.  
"You've had it rough, I know, trust me, and that's why you want it all to end, I would too... But I'm giving you a chance here, yeah? I can show you a better world, one worth living in... Will you let me do that?".  
He stayed silent for a few seconds before nodding slowly but unsurely.  
"Good", Gabriel said brightly with a smile as he stood up and pressed a kiss to Dean's forehead, "Sleep now", and with that there was a flutter of wings and one less angel in the room.  
Dean then cursed under his breath at the angel and his empty offers, wondering what the hell he could be planning this time before he let the overwhelming drowsiness take over and he drifted off to sleep again.


	2. Chapter 2

A day and several tests later, Dean was still in hospital, apparently he was in 'no condition to leave'.   
"What a load of crap", he though, "I feel fine". He only had to attempt to get up again to be disproved.  
The nurse was hot though, he tried flirting with her but she didn't seem interested. Dean just came to the conclusion she wasn't in to "suicidal maniacs" as the doctor so poetically put it when him and Dean met a disagreement.  
He also drifted off a lot, and everytime he woke up he would find a cupcake or cookie next to his bed. He highly doubted it was any of the hospital staff, and Sam or Cas wouldn't have known he was there, so he came to the conclusion it must have been Gabriel. The idiot.  
"I prefer pie, you know", he teased the angel when approaching him about it, causing Gabriel to chuckle.  
"I'll keep that in mind", he replied with a smile as he sat by the bed again the evening after his first visit.  
"Did you bring any more?".  
"Nope, thought I'd mix it up a bit, I have flowers this time", Gabriel chuckled as he placed them on the table.  
Dean rolled his eyes but couldn't hold back a small smile, "I'm not your sick grandma".  
"I just thought they'd brighten up the room", he said with a shrug, "besides, you should be able to go soon, if not tomorrow the day after".  
"Where am I supposed to go?...", the hunter sighed.  
"I'll find us somewhere nice", Gabriel responded happily, "maybe Casa Erotica", he continued playfully with a wiggle of his eyebrows, causing Dean to let out a small laugh.  
"I'll trust your judgement".  
"That's my boy, we'll do that then", he said with a nod, "I'll swing by to pick you up when you're ready", and with that, he was gone again.  
As he realised the angel had left, Dean looked back to the table where the flowers had been set, and noticed a warm slice of apple pie sitting by them. A smile crept onto his face as he happily nibbled on the dessert before setting the plate down and laying back in bed to watch the television.


	3. Chapter 3

_As they buried themselves further in the sheets they could feel each other's skin, warm and soft against the other's. The hot breath on their necks was a constant reminder of where they were and who they were with. Soft kisses and gentle nips to pale flesh set the tone of the affair, this was more than they were used to, it wasn't casual sex anymore, they were making love, Dean knew it, Castiel knew it, all that was left was for someone to say it, but neither of them had the courage nor the confidence to mention it so far.  
At the end of the night, their legs intertwined and their bodies pressed together once more as they held each other close, inhaling and savouring one another's scent. Dean's fingers slowly ran themselves through Castiel's hair and down the back of his neck, making the angel occasionally shiver, but equally comforting him as he was constantly made aware of his company. As this went on Castiel would let his fingers trail gently up and down the hunter's side, too light to scratch but hard enough to not tickle, just right, relaxing even. Comforting if nothing else.  
After a good while of this, a small whisper escaped Cas' mouth.  
"Dean?".  
"Yes, Angel?".  
"There's something I need to tell you... But I'm not quite sure how you'll react".  
"Try me", Dean responded softly as he pressed a reassuring kiss to his partner's forehead.  
The room fell into a deadly silence after this which lasted for anything from 10 seconds to 2 minutes, neither of them could really tell, but it was shortly shattered by another timid whisper from Castiel, "I love you".  
Silence again.  
Dean's touch slowly faded and Castiel could feel the thump of Dean's heart against his chest becoming faster and harder.  
"...Dean?", the angel whispered again. But still, silence. "Okay... Yes, I understand...", and with that he slowly tore his body from Dean's and rolled himself so his back faced his partner, staring at the wall. Dean also rolled the other way as he let his mind toil on to find the right response. He loved Castiel too, or at least he thought he did, his biggest concern was that he would requite Castiel's feelings but end up contradicting with his actions.   
Then with a deep breath, Dean responded with a quiet, "I love you too", and turned around to face the angel again, but was instead greeted with the hollow dent of Castiel's form in the mattress and the fading, signature scent he had not long before appreciated but now longed for again. ___


	4. Chapter 4

Dean bolted awake in a cold sweat, exclaiming Cas' name so it echoed down the hall and caused his throat to sting momentarily, but die down again pretty quickly as he stared wide eyed into space and desperately tried to calm down his breathing. "Dammit, Dean, pull yourself together", he mumbled quietly to himself, screwing his eyes shut so tight he made himself dizzy. It took him a good, few minutes to fully realise it was a dream and couldn't help but be consumed with disappointment when he looked to his right and didn't see his angel but instead a next-to-empty bedside table. No one seemed to have been disturbed by his outburst, so once his mind was somewhat clear again and his body had relaxed, he lied down again and shut his eyes, clutching his blanket tightly to his chest, almost desperately.  
A long, sleepless night would ensue.  
\------------------  
The next day, Dean was let out of hospital. Well, I say let out, rather picked up, Gabriel had come to get him, said he was his brother or something apparently, must have been something wrong with the receptionist's vision; "Maybe she's the one who needs a doctor", Dean thought to himself and chuckled a little at his own dubious hilarity.  
"What are you laughing at?", the archangel asked as he looked up at him and smiled at a slight angle, just pleased Dean at least appeared a little happier.  
"Nothing", Dean replied and shook his head, still smiling slightly, "where are we going?".  
"I've booked us a room in a hotel around here", he replied with a nod, "you know, until we screw something up and have to move on to another town".  
"Us?", Dean questioned with a raised eyebrow.  
"Well, it's your room technically, I won't be using it much", a small, playful smirk crept onto his face as he wiggled his eyebrows at Dean, "unless you want to".  
He couldn't help but chuckle a little and look away from the idiot who was supposed to be a 'powerful celestial being', "slow down there, Shortie".  
Gabriel took a slow intake of breath between his teeth and winced, "damn", he joked as he clicked his fingers, "friendzoned".  
"You'd need to be my friend for that".  
"I am your friend".  
"Says who?".  
"Says me, and I ain't changing my mind, you're stuck with me now", he said as he stuck his tongue out, "so deal with it".  
Dean simply rolled his eyes at the angel and directed his gaze somewhere else, trying to convince both Gabriel and himself that he wasn't more than slightly happy about the fact he apparently had found a friend in him.  
\------------------  
Once Dean decided to talk again, the pair decided they were both hungry (well one was at least, the other was Gabriel) and so went to a cafe for dinner before retiring to their room for the night.  
"So, Deano, what d'ya wanna do?".  
"Don't call me that".  
"Fine, /Dean/", he retorted, exaggerating the e greatly, "what do you want to do?".  
He chuckled slightly and sat on his bed before replying, "I don't know, I guess I'll just sleep".  
"Yeah, you should, you look like crap, you didn't get much sleep last night, did you?", Gabriel said a bit harsher than intended, causing the hunter to wince and frown slightly. "Oh, n-no... I didn't mean it like that... Sorry... Um...", he paused for a second, "what helps you to sleep well?".  
"I don't sleep well", he replied bluntly.  
"I bet you sleep better when there's someone with you, huh?", he said with a jokier tone than his last comment as he nudged Dean playfully with his elbow but only caused him to sigh.  
"I don't want to fall asleep with you, Gabriel".  
"Too unfamiliar? Well how about someone else?", and with that, the archangel suddenly became the younger of the Winchesters, grinning at Dean almost hopefully.  
"No.", he said sharply, almost instantaneously.  
"Jheeze, okay... Guessing you and Sam aren't on great terms then... How about this guy?", he said as he transformed again, but this time into Castiel.  
Dean's face dropped and his heartbeat quickened again, causing his breathing to speed up at the same time.  
"Dean?...", Gabriel asked softly, reaching a hand out to Dean.  
"Stop it!", he snapped, moving away from him quickly, "just stop it! Screw you!".  
Within a few seconds, Gabriel was himself again but with an expression of deep concern etched into his face, "hey, calm down... Is something wrong?".  
"You're not Sam! You're not Cas or Sam! Is that what you're trying to do?! Replace them?!".  
"No... No, I was just-".  
"Just what?! Piss off, Gabriel! I don't need your help! Stop trying to be better than them, you're just the same!".  
"Dean, I...".  
"Leave!".  
And with that, the archangel fell silent, swallowed, and disappeared, leaving Dean the way he started; scared, alone, and panicking in a hotel room.

 

 

_"Says me, and I ain't changing my mind, you're stuck with me now", he said as he stuck his tongue out, "so deal with it". ___


	5. Chapter 5

That night, no matter how hard he tried, Dean couldn't seem to get comfortable no matter how he lied down and so simply stared to the ceiling. The pillow felt like a wet, rough face cloth against his head, causing his hair to stick to his face while the feeling of the blanket against his bare arms and legs was like that of someone grabbing and clinging to him which panicked him for a second before he realised what it really was. He tossed and turned for what felt like hours to him, "it must be at least 2", Dean thought to himself only to roll his eyes to the clock and discover it was 11:34pm and with that sighed and looked back to the ceiling. All that was left to do now was think. Dean had been doing a lot of that recently, but it never seemed to end well. His mind was his worst enemy. The more he thought, the more it began to loathe him and the more it began to loathe him the more he began to loathe his entire being. He was like this the night he ended up in hospital, and he thought about trying again, but didn't see the point, knowing full well someone would bring him back. People never really seemed to stay dead around him. The only difference this time was that he wasn't thinking about himself or Sam or Cas, he was thinking about Gabriel, he couldn't get his head around why he was helping him, I mean the guy killed him over a hundred times just to 'teach Sam a lesson'. He showed he cared about Sam a few times actually, so why wasn't he with him? In fact, why was he with Dean at all? It's not like he asked for his help. "What gives him the right to slide on in to my life and mess around with me?", Dean thought to himself, gradually getting more and more pissed at the archangel. He could handle himself he thought, Gabriel was in no place to decide whether he lived or died, he wouldn't even explain to Dean how he was alive, why should he trust him? The more Dean thought about Gabriel's intrusion, the angrier and angrier he got, but what made him the most angry was that he still wanted to see him again, he didn't know why, but deep down he still wanted him to show up at the door and come in and tell him everything was okay and cuddle him and maybe get them a drink to share and watch tv and maybe even... No, well, maybe... Dean didn't want to believe he wanted that.  
The next best thing he could do in his mind was drink himself to sleep, so around 1 in the morning after several attempts to sleep, that's what he did, emptying the hotel's mini bar until his eyes just couldn't stay open anymore and so fell shut as his head dropped to the table he was sitting at.


	6. Chapter 6

It wasn't until around 11 the next morning that Dean woke up, light headed with a dry throat and a queasy feeling in his stomach. He let out a soft groan as he curled in on himself slightly and rolled onto his side, holding his stomach in an attempt to get rid of the feeling. After taking a few deep breaths, he slowly opened and rubbed his eyes, revealing a glass of water and a box of paracetamol on the nightstand.  
“Those are for you by the way, if you didn't already get that”, whispered a familiar voice from across the room.  
“Gabriel?”, Dean murmured as he sat up, pressing his hand to his head, “but I kicked you out...”.  
“I'm paying for the room, I'll spend as much time in here as I want”, he replied playfully with a grin, causing Dean to raise an eyebrow. “I um... Also wanted to make sure you were okay...”.  
“I'm fine”, Dean responded bluntly, still somewhat angry at the angel and himself.  
Slightly surprised at the tone, Gabriel gave a small nod and replied in a quiet voice, “good... Well, you should take some paracetamol... And drink plenty of water... You'll, um... Feel better...”.  
“Thanks”.  
“Yeah...”.  
Silence.  
Dean quickly took the pills and swallowed them with a large sip of water as his company almost shyly offered him a plate of toast.  
“It's for you as well, if you want it...”. Dean eyed Gabriel somewhat sceptically before nodding and accepting the offering.  
“Thank you”, he said before quietly nibbling on his breakfast. The archangel couldn't help but let out a small sigh of relief, happy that Dean clearly wasn't _really ___angry at him.  
“I presume you're not busy today”, Gabe said quietly, not wanting to speak too loud while Dean was still feeling the effects of the hangover.  
“Hm?”, Dean replied, looking to Gabriel with a mouth full of toast. He swallowed his food and wiped his mouth with the side of his hand before shaking his head, “I don't have anything planned, why?”.  
A grin crept onto the archangels face, “great! Then finish your breakfast and get dressed because now you do!”.  
“And what would that be?”, Dean asked with a raised eyebrow.  
“You'll find out”, Gabriel replied with a playful wink, causing the hunter to roll his eyes and avoid further conversation by going to the bathroom to freshen up.

_________________________ 

Around 30 minutes later, after Dean had showered and dressed himself he emerged from the bathroom. “Damn, Winchester, you clean up good”, Gabriel teased, a raised eyebrow being the only reaction he evoked from Dean. “Not talking to me much today, are you”, he sighed.  
“I don't particularly feel like talking with a guy who won't answer any of my questions”, Dean retorted with a harsh scowl.  
“Well come with me now and I'll try to change your mind”, he suggested with a playful smile.  
“Whatever”.  
“Good enough for me!”, and with a grin and a click of Gabriel's fingers, they were in a quaint park. It took Dean a few seconds to adjust to the new surroundings, but as the disorientated feeling disappeared and he caught his balance he was able to look around properly. There weren't a lot of trees, but just enough that the area looked rural and they were evenly spaced. He could see a playground in the distance too, empty which he presumed was due to it being noon on a weekday, he was grateful for the peace though, his head was still somewhat hurting. Then laying on the grass by his feet was a cliché red and white, checked blanket underneath a picnic basket and a lounging archangel.  
“Are you serious?”, Dean blurted with a fold of his arms, “one, warn me before you zap us somewhere like that next time, it's off putting, and two, could this set up be more clichéd?”.  
“One, don't count on it, the look on your face when I do it is priceless and quite frankly, adorable, two, probably not, but I've always wanted to do something like this and you need cheering up, and what's more fun than a cliché picnic? Now sit down”, he ordered with a smile before an unamused Dean complied. Gabriel then started to empty the basket onto the blanket including plates, cups, sandwiches, some fruit and a pretty appealing looking pie.  
“Where even is this?”, Dean asked as he waited.  
“Only a few minutes from the hotel”, he answered, taking break from unpacking to flash a mischievous smile at Dean, letting him know he was aware they could have just walked. Dean was past caring though, so just gave a small, almost fond sigh. “Food's ready, help yourself”, he said with another wave of his arms, presenting the pretty impressive spread. Like a kid in a sweet shop, Dean looked through the assortment and picked out his favourites, creating a rather large and almost embarrassing pile on his plate, but no one was there to see it except Gabriel who's plate was much worse, so it didn't matter to him.  
After a good while of silent, appreciative eating and the production of a pair of empty plates, Gabriel stretched and let out a small squeak as he lay his head in Dean's lap but the hunter looked down to him disapprovingly which was answered with a flutter of eyelashes and shortly afterwards, a small sigh, “come on, Dean, I said I was sorry... What can I do to make it up to you?”.  
“Well for one, you could answer my god damn questions”, Dean said through grit teeth.  
“Like what?”, he sighed as he sat up, sitting opposite Dean with his legs crossed and his elbows resting on his knees.  
Dean fell silent for a while, not wanting to waste this opportunity for answers and so looking for the right question, “...how are you still alive?”.  
It was then Gabriel's turn to be silent and collect his thoughts, it seemed like the first time he had shut up to Dean, “I wish I could answer that... I was gone for a while and then I woke up, as if it had all been a dream, I guess my father is still out there or something and he brought me back to life, either that or my current existence is one big continuity error, but when I work it out, I'll let you know”, he answered playfully, finishing with a nod. Dean was pretty satisfied with that answer, but then again, he would have been satisfied with any at all.  
“Another question... Why... Why are you here-”.  
“Isn't that the same as the last question?”.  
“Shut up and let me finish!”, he retorted, followed by a small sigh, “why are you here with _me ___? You could be anywhere, be with anyone, do anything, but you're here... Why?”.  
A smile crept onto Gabriel's face as if he had been waiting for this question, or was it sympathy? He couldn't quite tell, “because I care about you, Dean. I know you don't quite get that, but I really do, and I want to help you. I want you to feel happy again and I want you to have at least part of the life you wanted. You at least deserve that”. The angel then paused to work out what he would say next and to appreciate the look of concentration on his listeners face. “Also, if I'm being honest, I see myself in you, sure you're Michael's vessel, whatever, he's a dick, he doesn't care about anyone else, but you're different, you're not like Michael when it comes to your personality, and that's where I see myself, I've been in your position, and because of that, I feel a responsibility to take care of you when you need it, and right now you need it more than ever...”, and as he finished speaking, he took a deep breath and gave Dean a hopeful smile, “I guess we're just a couple of assholes, but I like it that way”.  
“Now _that ___I can believe”, Dean chuckled quietly, looking down as he let the information sink in which pushed out his previous resentment towards the archangel, he could sense insincerity, he was used to it, but this was different, Gabriel meant what he said and he said what he meant, which Dean appreciated. As much as he hated to admit it, he was starting to trust Gabriel, and he was growing fonder of the angel day by day. “You can lie back down now if you like, I'm done with the questions for now”. Gabriel grinned at the invitation and almost instantly placed his head back in Dean's lap and shut his eyes, taking it as approval of his answer, which was further confirmed as he felt the hunter's fingers run through his hair, gently twirling a few locks at a time around the index. The content and relief was written all over Gabriel's face, and Dean read it over and over again until his smile almost hurt. Gabe made Dean feel wanted, needed, replaced the loneliness with a sense of belonging and he wasn't prepared to let that go. Not yet.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry it's taken me so long to update, and I don't have an excuse really except that I forgot to upload, but I'm going to get more chapters in a lot more frequently from now on, thank you for still reading though, I appreciate it :)

_It had been a couple of days since Dean and Cas' incident, and they hadn't seen each other since. Dean had looked for Cas, waited for him, hell, he had even prayed for him to come back and let him know that they were okay or so that he could make things right between them, but he was starting to doubt that he could actually do that, and was now more sure than ever that Cas was not okay; but who could blame him? He had been rejected, or at least he thought he had been. The immense guilt that consumed Dean only grew minute by minute as he missed the angel's presence which he had become so used to over their years together which he now feared had come to an abrupt end due to his own lack of confidence in himself, but at the same time, he didn't want to tell Cas that his feelings were requited, he was terrified of it. The responsibility that came with such a statement was so great that Dean didn't feel he was ready to put that on his shoulders, especially since failing in that responsibility would lead to hurting Cas, his innocent angel, and that was the last thing that he ever wanted to do to him. He still had to make sure he was okay though, let him know that he cared, see him at least one last time._  
 _So, Dean sat himself on his bed in the bunker and clasped his hands together tightly, screwing his eyes shut and resting his head on them, concentrating probably a little harder than was necessary, but he needed to, if he wanted to get a response from Cas. Ironically, he was terrified of the idea of having his prayer rejected to the point that it made him feel physically ill. “Cas... Angel?”, he began, hoping that the nickname he had given Cas years before would spark some sort of interest that had been lost through Dean's ignorance and lacking confidence. “I know I keep trying to get through to you and I've been a complete dick and all, but... Awh, hell, I don't know what to say, it doesn't mean much unless it's to your face anyway, does it? I guess all I can do is ask you to come back, I know you probably don't want to see me, but believe me, I want to see you more than anything, if that helps at all, not that you probably care what I want any more, I don't blame you. But if I've hurt you in any way... Who'm I kidding? Of course I've hurt you, and I get why you're not responding, so I'll stop bugging you after this, but please just let me know one way or another whether it's directly or just a note or even through Sam, just how you are, and if you'll come back to me... I need you, Cas... I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry...”, he concluded, his voice now barely a whisper and his eyes beginning to dampen._  
 _Then, as if by magic, the door to his room slowly began to jerk open as his head bolted up to look. “Cas?”, he asked eagerly, already half off the bed._  
 _“Sorry to disappoint”, Sam responded, edging his way into the room. Not Cas. Dean slowly sat himself back down on the bed, looking up to Sam half disappointed, but also grateful to have some company, but then he remembered what he had asked of Cas as his heart skipped a beat, hoping his suspicion was true._  
 _“Did Cas just give you a message? For me?”, Dean asked quickly and eagerly, looking to his brother with wide, hopeful eyes._  
 _“What? No...”, Sam responded, a little confused, disappointment settling in Dean again as his eyes dimmed and a small, indistinct whisper escaped his mouth that Sam interpreted as an 'oh, okay...'. “I do need to talk to you about him though”, Sam continued, hoping to get Dean's interest again, and he was not let down as Dean looked to him intently, but didn't utter a word. “Cas came to me yesterday, and he was upset, but I mean really upset, and he told me what happened... What the hell are you playing at, Dean? You can't just-”._  
 _“I can explain!”, Dean butted in, rising quickly to his feet and his defence._  
 _“No! Let me explain!”, Sam snapped back, causing Dean to frown out of surprise and an evolving anger. “When someone tells you they love you, you say something, anything, don't just leave them hanging, especially someone like Cas! Whether you love them back or not you respond, and to be honest, I don't care how you feel about him, that's your business, but what is my business is how you treat him and that was one hell of a low for you, I don't think you even realise how bad it was!”._  
 _It was then that Dean's pride kicked in, how dare Sam come in and not only shut him down when he tried to explain and find some sort of comfort in his brother, but then make him feel even shittier than he already did?! “You know what, Sam? You're right, it is none of your business, so I suggest you butt out and stay out of it!”, Dean snapped back, forgetting himself and all he wanted to ask Sam about how Cas was and what he could do, and wanting to explain his actions._  
 _“He's my business, Dean, before you started using him, as you now so clearly were, we were just as close as you two were, I don't think you realise how lucky you are to have him, and now you've messed up your relationship with him”, Sam replied bluntly, scowling and folding his arms across his chest._  
 _“Because your relationships have all been so successful, right?”, Dean hissed back, gritting his teeth and tensing his jaw defensively._  
 _It was a low blow, and it wasn't until Sam froze for a good few seconds, gave Dean a small, resigned smile and left the room without saying anything more that Dean realised quite how low it was. He could have gone after Sam, apologised and asked for help, but at that point he was too angry and fixated on all Sam had said to care, and again, he was as he had been for the last couple of days. Alone._


End file.
